Little Miracles II - My Toilet Overfloweth

This evening we went to my son's german club dinner. The food was probably what you would get in an authentic German Gymnasium cafeteria, it it were say a government-run Gymnasium for encouragable boys. Needless to say, I am sick to my stomach beyond words. The authentic german "cuisine" (borscht? What the HELL is borscht?) ... Anyway, that's not the real beginning of this part of the tale...

When we got home from Doichland, I found an e-mail tonight from a very happy friend. She was counting down the days until the bunch of us would be able to hang under the moon, tellin’ stories and jiving each other, until such time as sleep must come. But when she said 8 days, I thought, no 15 days – I’ve booked my tickets. They’ll be there in 8 days… I’ll be there in 15 days…

I’VE BOOKED MY TICKETS!!

There was a buzzing noise in my brain – I could hear it all the way through my skull.
Then my daughter said very loudly “Something’s leaking in the bathroom!” I thought the buzzing was trying to tell me something and there was something leaking… in the ….

I envisioned a large group of people sitting around a fire, I could see their faces in light and dancing shadow, and I could not find my face among them. And they all looked right, at, me, and their faces went set sad and their voices went soft and tight– a funerary in tableau…

There was water flowing somewhere behind the buzzing (flies with voices) in my head and I moved somehow, feet touch and then squish carpet – I see the spot but feeling adds true dimension as my foot sinks into the carpet, which instantly becomes the bottom of a puddle. Toilet clogged – float dislodged – Nina was in there for 20 minutes taking a shower. And I’m grateful, because, when I first saw it I thought that the fixture had been cracked .

So, I went next door, borrowed a wet vac, and sucked up what I could in the carpet, started squishing towels into it – and wiping up the tile in the bathroom with more towels. Then I went outside, smoked a cigarette and called my friend who, I figured, was more sane than me – not too high standard that point, and she told me to breathe, and so I decided to.

So, I sat and breathed for a little bit – and things calmed down – in me, and…

I called Travelelocity to ask them for a refund of my ticket. I know my legal rights, and what rights I waive when I e-sign a contract including the purchase of access to a federally regulated (technicalities) commodity, and what rights I don’t waive therein and thereby.

So, while dialing the call I looked at that Travelocity logo in front of my eyes, on the 22 inch monitor, and hugged it.

But, I had no use of any of that - it was great! "I bought the wrong ticket" - "I'll cancel that and refund your money, sir." "Thank you, sir." - and he DIDN'T plug the company at the end of the call – and he was intelligent and cool, a guy I might want to have coffee with and discuss CSR work – philosophy – CSR is the dish-dog of the corporate structure – not the mail room, like many people believe.

I couldn't fathom it as I got off the phone... They said “Sure, no problem, it’s all taken care of, sir.” I now have the proper plane tickets for the proper dates - yay! - Travelocity rocks! Flat out.
but wait, there's more!

The entire call through the Travelocity maze of interactive voice recognition and switching functions; the hold time; the CSR contact, discovery, and diagnosis; (Woot!), and the completion of the resolution was 8 minutes 52 seconds.

I've waited at McDonalds longer than that.

Now! Just because you read this far, you also get...

I found replacement tickets for a week earlier for $9 more (total, round trip & fees.)

It changes the childcare situation. I called my X, who is part of the childcare solution - I told her about the one week shift in schedule, and how I found tickets, and that I really wanted to go, but was tired and teetering on adrenaline overload, and my cells were trying to burn fatigue toxins- and I wasn't sure what to do. She said - "I just checked a book out of the library today, I'm just going to tell you the title and that's my answer."

"You'll See It When You Believe It"
-by Dr Wayne W. Dyer

It is a great book - I've read it, and it was just the 7 words I needed hear to free myself from doubt, and get back on the road to the S F M

So, now all I need do is deal with childcare – and keep breathing easy.

My squishy carpet awaits.

Namaste

Little Miracles

"If miracles are not happening in your life on a daily basis, there's
something wrong."
-A Course In Miracles

I admit it, I've been going kind of bonkers - domestic servant, I - engineer, electrician, doctor, plumber, tutor, sometimes prison guard, philosopher, psychiatrist, psychologist, mentor, provider of a definition for "home" in an almost-homeless world.

I decided that I would focus on taking a vacation - focus in terms of meditation, perception, and intent - thought, emotion, and will, if you prefer. So, I did. And the miracles started happening - the first time I mentioned the possibility that I might go away for a few days, the kids acted like I had won the lotto - they were congratulating me on wanting to go on vacation. The money started doing wierd things so that it would work toward my vacation, and money appeared out of nowhere through the hand of a good friend. My X called me to say she would be in town almost exactly on the days I needed someone to be with the kids, and she wanted to know if she could spend a lot of time with them. "Sure, I said - no problem." I told her of my plans, and the child-care situation is almost completely covered.

Four days from no vacation to vacation - and the flights are booked - and now I have to wait 8 whole days until I can go!!! But, I have plenty to keep me busy.

And the best part is that I get to go to somewhere I've never been and see friends I have have not yet met in person! Today I know I am blessed.

I'm so geeked - wooooohoooo!

Busted Flush

Emotions busted
like a flush in the face
of five aces
What the fuck? I swear
there were four when I looked there before
I know I'm not lying because I can still
feel the dying of the overwhelming glee that I felt
when I opened my eyes to the hand I was dealt
just a second ago

I need to de-struct something
because there is code being executed here
that I don't like at all
it's running me down and into
the safety of a dark, warm, stoned hole
I can't find you because I can't see anyone
through the mud-brown coating;
nicotine yellow and rust resin,
of my accepted limitations

And it comes out here, a blurt of hurt
fingers and mind driven to
synchronous stacatto bursts
of the best and the worst and the need
to concede to the creed of clarity
that comes like a drug-rush
up from below to flow from me to machine

It scares me, sometimes
when I stop typing and read back through
to find words twined like rapists hooked
around and into the chloroformed truth
and worse, still, the unrelenting draw
to spew this vision onto these keys and find
something in the mess that I swallowed once
because it went down so fast I can't
remember if I tasted it or just dreamed
the flavor of right in a bite of memory
or maybe something even more dangerous

I don't bother to resent or resist it, I can't, anyway
I will admit that I’m glad to have something irresistable
and not resented play it's tunes though my half-baked
waking brain that I can come back to tomorrow
and find this flavor of time and place
that marks my path for me
with a sign that says something like

"You've been this way before, choose again."