Better than life insurance
I keep getting e-mails about how badly I need and how cheaply I can get life insurance.
These people are so arrogant and greedy, they'd fuck chickens in public while singing librettos (badly), call it romantic nature theatre, and expect to be well-paid- in advance.
The e-mails assume that I KNOW that I NEED life insurance - as in "Duh, it's mortality, stupid!" The insurance industry (and the re-insurance industry) have come to the conclusion that they are a UTILITY, an institution, and are NOT to be ignored. In the mind of the insurance companies it simply comes down to which company gets the premiums, like it's necessary.
Who's life am I insuring, anyway? Mine? I'm GOING TO DIE! Everybody knows that, best of all me.
So, why should I give my money to someone who will then give my children more money if I die sooner than expected? (Only under certain conditions, other restrictions may apply.)
I know - I'm insuring the lives of the people who work for the insurance industry! What a bunch of fucked up money grubbing losers! Jesus - the smart way is to manage your own life insurance. Here's a good plan:
1. Put all your change in coffee cans. When you get around to it, take the cans to the bank and put them into an account. (Make sure to use a bank that has a coin sorter / counter - do yourself a favor.) When you get enough money in the account, invest half in short-term, half in long-term bonds. Just keep that change collected, and those coffee cans rolling. I'm the only one in my house who drinks coffee, and I use a 2 lb. can every two weeks or so - I have way more coffee cans than I have change and small bills to fill them.
OR - give the money to a good friend who is good at gambling, but isn't one of those freakazoid spinheads that always end up drunk and broke at the casino free food table. A good poker player is always a good bet - and I mean a GOOD poker player. Watch Rounders if you need a clue.
2. Take care of your LIFE, not just your body / mind / whatever- but take care of your life force.
3. Teach your children to be non-dependent. Make sure they know you and they are mortal, and not to expect too much from dead people. The living must carry on. The only thing dead people are good for is sainthood- or vilification, whatever.
4. Ignore this pseudo-authority trip that these giant conglomerates are pushing on the American Sheeple - live your life, die your death - just as you cannot petition God to do your will, you cannot insure stability against mortality- certainly not through the likes of the corpse-rats better known as insurance salespersons.
These people are so arrogant and greedy, they'd fuck chickens in public while singing librettos (badly), call it romantic nature theatre, and expect to be well-paid- in advance.
The e-mails assume that I KNOW that I NEED life insurance - as in "Duh, it's mortality, stupid!" The insurance industry (and the re-insurance industry) have come to the conclusion that they are a UTILITY, an institution, and are NOT to be ignored. In the mind of the insurance companies it simply comes down to which company gets the premiums, like it's necessary.
Who's life am I insuring, anyway? Mine? I'm GOING TO DIE! Everybody knows that, best of all me.
So, why should I give my money to someone who will then give my children more money if I die sooner than expected? (Only under certain conditions, other restrictions may apply.)
I know - I'm insuring the lives of the people who work for the insurance industry! What a bunch of fucked up money grubbing losers! Jesus - the smart way is to manage your own life insurance. Here's a good plan:
1. Put all your change in coffee cans. When you get around to it, take the cans to the bank and put them into an account. (Make sure to use a bank that has a coin sorter / counter - do yourself a favor.) When you get enough money in the account, invest half in short-term, half in long-term bonds. Just keep that change collected, and those coffee cans rolling. I'm the only one in my house who drinks coffee, and I use a 2 lb. can every two weeks or so - I have way more coffee cans than I have change and small bills to fill them.
OR - give the money to a good friend who is good at gambling, but isn't one of those freakazoid spinheads that always end up drunk and broke at the casino free food table. A good poker player is always a good bet - and I mean a GOOD poker player. Watch Rounders if you need a clue.
2. Take care of your LIFE, not just your body / mind / whatever- but take care of your life force.
3. Teach your children to be non-dependent. Make sure they know you and they are mortal, and not to expect too much from dead people. The living must carry on. The only thing dead people are good for is sainthood- or vilification, whatever.
4. Ignore this pseudo-authority trip that these giant conglomerates are pushing on the American Sheeple - live your life, die your death - just as you cannot petition God to do your will, you cannot insure stability against mortality- certainly not through the likes of the corpse-rats better known as insurance salespersons.
posted by b at 11:42 AM
2 Comments:
hey b, you bloggin fuck, its me, that fuck called c.
on the side bar you can link to my blog, ill link to yours too :) we can start a blog cult and then we will take over... the fleetwood.
if you need, im sure you dont but jic, i can tell you all, ALL about hacking these blog templates to get your desired results, i.e. what works, what doesnt, whats allowed, trade secrets. blag.
:) peace.
btw: maybe the insurancea companieros are trying to tell you something. something, grim, aprophetic. 'soon spam will rule the world! when you kill yourself, make it look like murder, we wil pay for your funeral for you! cheap rates!'. no, dont kill yourself.
the only thing i have ever found to kill spam is to set your email account to filter out anyone not in your address book. then you get to sift through the spam folder looking for emails that dont belong. come on, its fun.
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